Tuesday, January 22, 2013


I know what you are thinking: you have a new baby, of course you are getting minimal sleep!

Keane, bless his heart, is a miserable through-the-night sleeper.  Miserable.  I guess we can't all be good at everything! Oh, don't worry, it hasn't always been the case.  Up until month 4, he was a rock star sleeper.  He slept through the night, waking up at 5:30 am  to eat, and going back to sleep until 8 am.  I was bragging to people about how well he slept.  That's when we were slapped in the face with some humility.  The past three months have been a roller coaster of nonsense.

Have you ever met people who say their babies started sleeping through the night when they were like, 2 days old, and have slept through the night perfectly since then?  Now their children are grown and winning the Noble Peace Prize, in the Peace Corps, and creating cures for cancer.  I hate those people.  I smile, listen to them talk, pretend to be thrilled for them, but I'm actually thinking, "I hate you."  So, if you are one of those people, don't take it personally! I haven't slept since early October, I am no longer in control of and responsible for my thoughts or actions due to sleep deprivation.

Now, perhaps you are wondering if Andrew and I educated ourselves on how to get a baby to sleep through the night.  Not only have I spoken to every person that I know that currently has, has had, or is thinking of having a baby, I also read for the following books on the topic:

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber, MDThe Happiest Baby On The Block by Harvy Karp, MDHealthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth MDBabywise by Gary Ezzo, MD, and Touchpoints 0-3 and 3-6 by T. Barry Brazelton MD et al. Along with these books I researched all ways to sleep train a baby including various crying methods and non-crying methods.

Over the past three months we have tried EVERY single method you can think of, and NOOOTTTHHHIIINNNGGGGG worked!!  Maybe you are wondering if we tried one thing or another, don't ask.  We tried.  Again, I am not looking for ideas on how to make him sleep better, because I guarantee I've tried it.  Lovey? Tried it.  Putting our scent on something? Tried it.  Night light? Tried it.  Putting him between us (yes I know, shame on me...)? Tried it. In our room? Tried it.  Out of our room? Tried it. I've tried it all, folks.

There is that moment, in the middle of the night, when through the baby monitor we hear Keane stirring.  My body involuntarily tenses up and I squeeze my eyes shut and just pray, "Pleaassseeee go back to sleep by yourself.  Please please please please pleaasseeee."  He doesn't.

Anymore, Andrew and I know only two emotions anymore, stupid slap happy, and ultra super duper grumpy.  Sometimes we go from one to the other in a matter of minutes.  One positive thing is I realize just how funny of a person I truly am.  I tell the funniest jokes when I haven't slept in three months!

And just as I think I'm going to snap, and it is 7:30 am and Keane wants up, NOW, I drag myself into his room and am greeted with this face:

He is so happy and giggly when he wakes up, it's hard to be frustrated about the night (other than the fact that I cannot walk straight because I am dizzy from no sleep!).

(Hotel on our trip to Cincinnati this past weekend)

(Union terminal station, Cincinnati)


  1. haha seriously!!! moms should get a get out of jail free card for the insanity we face with NO SLEEP! It really isn't our fault if we assault the neighbor who slammed their car doors too loud at nap time right? I talked to a mom of 6 kids recently and she said- I've come to the conclusion that kids just come great sleepers or crappy sleepers. There's no training program that works with the crappy sleepers. My worst sleeper is 20, and she still sleeps terrible (comforting right?). I'm glad you got your story out on the world wide web though, because no one brags about how much sleep their NOT getting, we only hear the moms telling us how good it is to have such an angel, and how refreshed they feel in the morning. I hope those moms get pneumonia... ok not really, but almost.

  2. Oh dear! I totally understand. Sammy and Jake were so hard to get to sleep through the night. I finally decided one day that I didn't care if they slept through the night or not. Once I decided that I was okay with it, it didn't seem so awful and eventually, they learned. I won't mention how old they were. :) Jake and Sam are very sound sleepers now. Mia was a great sleeper and started sleeping long stretches early, but now she wakes up at a drop of a pin.
    So enjoy your new found hilarity! It provides many good, long standing jokes and great stories when it all passes. We still have a good laugh when someone says "Ha! Banana.". Funny? Not really. But at the time, it was side-stiching hilarity!

  3. :) Ahhh the joys! You've always made me laugh, even when you got plenty of sleep. Sure miss you!!

  4. So Leah was my awesome sleep through th night at 8 was old baby. Charlotte on the other hand is 17 months old and still wakes up at least once a night :(